Don't Give Up
by TheLostStoryteller
Summary: It's two years after a -slight- misconception involving an ex-boyfriend, and Demyx still isn't over Roxas. The blonde has problems of his own, though, and all he can do is watch his world fall apart around him. Rated M for self-harm, lemon/yaoi, blood, bruises and mentions of eating disorders.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts or any of the characters that I will be using throughout this fanfiction, only the situations in which I place them in.**

**Warning: Contains yaoi/lemon (BoyXBoy). Also contains self-harm. Don't like, don't read.**

* * *

"Mmmn, R-Roxas…" Zexion gasps, a shiver being sent up his spine. The blonde boy snickers as he continues stretching out the younger teen, a third, lubricated digit slipping inside his tight, hungry hole. He scissors them harshly, a gasp of pain and pleasure being drawn from the younger. With no time being wasted, the blonde boy coats his member in strawberry-scented lubricant before thrusting into his lover hastily, drawing a small moan from Zexion as he does so. He waits for his slate-haired toy to adjust before setting a slow but steady pace, the only sound audible in the room being the sound of skin against skin - aside from the odd moan of pleasure.

"I'm home~" A melodic voice rings out loud and clear through the house, bouncing off the soft, creamy walls, rebounding straight into Zexion's ears.

"S-Shit! Roxas, get up." Zexion suddenly goes into panic mode, his entrance tightening around Roxas' shaft, causing the blonde boy to moan softly.

"Now why would I do that…?" Roxas questions, grinning down at his lover, thrusting hard into the boy a few times, his cerulean eyes glimmering with cheek and lust.

"B-Because Demyx is home!" Zexion squeaks in an all-too-high-pitched voice, one of which he didn't know he was capable of making.

Roxas grins, flashing his pearly white teeth to his young lover. "No."

"H-Huh…?" Zexion's aqua-grey eyes widen in alarm as he hears his boyfriend Demyx pad up the stairs, the beautiful tune that he is humming infiltrating Zexion's ears.

"Zexy~ Where are you, beautiful~?" Demyx sings cheerily as he continues padding down the corridor, his feet making minimal noise as his aqua, fluffy socks collide with the gentle mahogany boards.

"G-Get off me, Roxas!" Zexion commands, trying to wriggle out from beneath the blonde boy, but to no avail. Roxas speeds up again, thrusting directly into Zexion's prostate. The slate-haired boy bites down on his bottom lip as his hands clench at the sheets, trying as hard as he can not to make any noise as he shakes in ecstasy.

"Oh, w-what was that, my little pet? I didn't hear you~" Roxas taunts, now slamming into the smaller male, his voice coming out in lustful pants. Zexion gasps hard and moans lowly as he cums, his essence spilling out onto the rumpled sea-green silken sheets below.

"Zexion…?" Demyx calls out, arriving at the door and opening it just a crack, inquisitively poking his nose into the small gap. "What are yo-"

The brunette boy is cut off by a harsh moan as Roxas releases his load inside Zexion, his hot seed shooting into the younger male. He collapses onto Zexion, who is trying his best to wriggle away and hide as the door swings open.

"W-Wha…?" Demyx's emerald eyes widen in shock as they take in the scene before him. His boyfriend of 2 years, whom he loved with all of his non-existent heart, being assumedly fucked by his ex-boyfriend. Zexion's aqua eyes shoot upwards towards the door as it swings open to reveal his boyfriend standing there, a look of pain and heartbreak on his pale but tanned face.

"D-Demyx…" Zexion stutters, looking up at him, not sure of what to say or do. _'Oh, shit.'_

"Now that's just plain rude!" Exclaims the brunette, storming over to the blonde boy whom is now happily mounting his lover, picking him up by his waist and promptly defenestrating him, not caring who or what he hits on the way down. He quickly shuts the window and looks over to his soon to be ex-boyfriend, who is already hidden away under the covers, only the upper half remaining in view.

"D-Demyx, I can expla-"

"Out." Demyx says sternly, pointing with a long, slim finger towards the door.

"B-But De-"

"Out." He repeats. The small, shaking boy on the bed slowly picks himself up and leaves the room as carefully as possible, being careful not to knock anything over on the way. Once he reaches the door, he toddles towards his room gingerly, leaning on the cream-coloured wall for support. Tears stream down his cheeks as he grabs out a bag, hastily stuffing his few possessions into it - at least, the ones that would fit.

Demyx collapses onto the sullied bed, burying himself in the silk sheets as tears stream down his face, his breath coming out in soft sobs and gasps. _'Why would he do that? What have I done to deserve this? Didn't I satisfy him well enough? I tried my best…' _The brunette boy thinks to himself as he pulls the sheets tightly around himself, already missing the presence of his oh-so-perfect boyfriend. He drowns himself in his sorrows, his mind so foggy that he doesn't hear Zexion clambering down the stairs clumsily with his bagful of possessions, and the gentle click of the door as it locks behind him.

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**-EDIT III-**

**Bloody hell, so many edits. I got bored at my Mums' place over the weekend, so I'm going to be re-updating chapters 1 through to 3, as well as putting the finishing touches on and re-writing chapter 4. TheAnonEditer just got back from a holiday he was on, so I'll get him to edit the latter two chapters later. c:**

**-EDIT II-**

**I'd like to thank one of my mates, TheAnonEditer, for helping me out re-editing and touching up this chapter, hopefully for the final time. He's my official editor for the time being, so hopefully you'll be hearing a lot more of him. : D**

**-EDIT-**

**I had to change around some of the past/present tense that I picked up on when I re-read both chapter one and two, they were annoying me. Also, I'm quoting as many of the actual characters' lines in the fic, ten points if you can pick any up. One of Demyxs' lines are already in there. c:**

**That's chapter one done, guys! Please review or critique or whatever it is you do. More importantly though, if you wish to keep reading the rest of the story, please enjoy it! **

**Laters,**

**-Nimu  
**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts or any of the characters that I will be using throughout this fanfiction, only the situations in which I place them in.**

**Warning: Contains yaoi/lemon (BoyXBoy). Also contains self-harm. Don't like, don't read.**

* * *

'_Has it really been two years…?'_ Demyx sighs heavily as he puts his books down gently on a desk – the back right-hand corner, to be precise, and flops down onto his seat for his first-period Psychology class. He's ten minutes early, as per usual – he enjoys watching people come into the room and take their various seats. He sits anxiously, watching the doorway as his classmates teem in, 'till the final person is seated with a thud. _'He isn't here.'_ Emerald eyes scan the classroom, examining all the seats 'till he finds the person he was looking for, said boys' slate coloured hair brushed but slightly ruffled. _'You idiot, he was here all along. How did you not see him?'_ He sighs, opening up his textbook, hoping that the day will go as fast as possible.

-Later that day-

Yet another sigh escapes from between Demyxs' lips, his eyes flitting down then back up again as he locks his lock gently and starts walking down the plain, white school halls. His ears twitch, the fine hearing of a musician picking up noises that people wouldn't normally hear. He turns around slowly, looking out the window on the other end of the corridor. He can barley make out the darkened figure of Zexion against the orange-stained sky, bottle in hand and covered in bruises, staggering along, hand-in-hand with Roxas. Demyxs' eyes widen, the rays of the setting sun bouncing off them, said eyes more blue than green today. He growls slightly, gritting his teeth, his hand wondering up his arm. He winces slightly as he digs his nails into his soft flesh, but remains watching and standing tall all the same, the deserted corridors looming eerily behind him. He watches intently as Roxas scoops Zexion off his feet gently, the aqua-eyed man giggling drunkardly, a smile emerging so wide on their figures that you can see it on their quickly-darkening silhouettes. Demyx twitches madly, digging his nails further into his flesh, breaking the skin. The corners of his mouth turn upwards into a slight smirk as he feels a hot, crimson liquid escape him, engulfing his fingernails and fingers in a matter of minutes.

After what feels like forever, he finally snaps out of his daze, only to realise that the couple had long gone. He trudges home slowly, only to clamber up to his room and perch on the corner of his bed awkwardly as he discards his shirt and cleans himself up. He assesses the wounds quickly as he cleans them. _'They'll be fine.'_ He slips his deep blue hoodie on as he sits at his computer to begin toiling at his days' homework. Two hours later, he's on Zexions' FaceBook page, looking at everything he's been up to, the aching in his heart growing all the more for the younger boy to come back to him. Scrolling through all of the younger males' posts, he realises that he isn't nearly as positive as he used to be. Always complaining about something or other, whilst everybody else seems to be doing nothing about it. Apart from one person. Roxas. _'He seems to be causing all this, yet he's trying to help him…?'_ The chestnut-haired man chews absent-mindedly on his lip as he scrolls through the posts on the boys' wall, becoming more and more confused with everything he reads.

"But… Why the hell…?" He groans, rubbing the spot on his forehead between his brows where a headache was forming absent-mindedly. Quickly switching his computer off, he gets into his pyjamas and gently lays in his bed, curling into the foetal position and laying there for some time, staring out into the bleak, lonely darkness.

After laying in the paralyzing darkness for about 2 hours, he picks himself up off his bed, his head cluttered with memories, thought and unsorted emotions. An uncoordinated stumble down the hall is all it takes the boy to reach the stairs, using the handrail to guide himself downwards into the darkness - the darkness darker than dark itself. The brunette walks into the kitchen, opening the top drawer on the left, an array of knives laying at his disposal. He picks up the sharpest one he has, laying it across his pale, porcelain wrist.

"Maybe, just maybe, this can make me feel again…"

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**-EDIT-**

**I've fixed up a few spelling mistakes, so there shouldn't be much in the way of grammar, punctuation and spelling. I moved around a few things so I think it makes more sense, but whatever. : 3**

**Don't we just love it when shit like this happens? Either or, being a self-harmer myself, I find it easier to write, work on and continue writing fanfictions where the characters are either emotionally or physically abused. Or self-harm. There'll be more graphic SH in the next chapter towards the start and possibly a more depressing chapter in general, so don't read it if you don't want to. Can't say I didn't warn you. Either or, please don't hesitate in giving me critisism, I'd love to hear it! 3**

**-Nimu.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts or any of the characters that I will be using throughout this fanfiction, only the situations in which I place them in.**

******Warning: Contains yaoi/lemon (BoyXBoy). Also contains self-harm. Don't like, don't read.**

**A/N: I really should stop putting that yaoi warning on the chapters without yaoi...**

* * *

"I can't do this…" Demyx groans, his emerald eyes flickering in and out of consciousness as he swings around on his teal computer chair, looking lazily up at his wall clock. 2:35am. A sigh escapes his parted, chapped lips as he turns back to his computer, staring blankly at the screen, a half-completed essay staring him in the face. _'You won't be able to finish me,'_ it screams at him, threatening him, challenging him. _'Come on, finish me!'_ It rings at a shrill pitch through his mind, the very sound of it making his ears ring with defeat. Yet another swing around on the chair is all it takes for the boy to be flung onto the bed, a pained noise bouncing off the solid walls as he lands on his right arm. _'Bloody hell…'_ He groans in pain, clambering into his already-washed bed, pulling the silken sea-green sheets up around him, cocooning himself in them like a caterpillar.

Before he knew it, he was fast asleep; his mind left to roam free in the land of memories, fantasies and dreams.

-The next day-

"Oh, no… No, no, no!" Demyx exclaims as he wakes up with a start, the time on his alarm clock staring him in the face. 11:50am. "Why did I have to sleep in!? Fuck, fuck, fuck…" He mumbles angrily, throwing his clothes on and grabbing his stuff in a hurry as he bolts down the stairs and out the door, his USB stick long forgotten in his computer, emitting a steady red glow against the aqua of his bedroom walls.

-10 minutes later (Demyxs' point of view)-

I wonder over to my teacher, mumbling a quick "Sorry I'm late, sir," before meandering over to my seat up the back, attempting to make as little disturbance as possible as I go. I flop into my seat and drag out my Maths books, quickly but clumsily flipping to the right page before settling down to work.

The lesson honestly seems to drag on forever as I have to try harder and harder to keep my eyes open, the recess bell only just registering in my semi-conscious mind. _'It will be a long, long day…' _ I sigh, being one of the last to clamber out of my seat before shoving my books into my bag tiredly and wondering out the door, nearly walking straight into the wall as I head towards my locker. I quickly dump my bag in said locker, being careful to make sure that I don't damage any of the books as I chuck them in before closing it clumsily, wondering out of the corridor and into the courtyard, not really caring with whom or where I end up. After wondering around for about 10 minutes, I found a place that I never really knew existed. There's a little dark corner where two buildings meet – the art wing and the music wing. It's fairly peaceful and very secluded, aside from when the music kids start playing during break to show off to their friends. Aside from that though, I like it. It's away from people. Away from everything. School, pressure, people. Everything is gone when I'm here. Alone. I've grown to love that word. I lean back against the bricks with a sigh, said bricks painted a beautiful shade of dark red from the shadow of the buildings. I stare at it, mesmerised. _'It looks like…'_ I'm cut off abruptly by the bell rudely intruding my thoughts, telling me to get up and get the fuck out of there. I sit for a little while longer – I'm not quite sure how long. Maybe 5 minutes, maybe an hour. All I know is that when I finally make it to my English class, the teacher is less than impressed. I wonder numbly over to my spot at the back, sitting down as quietly as I can manage before hastily opening my books and trying to play catch-up. I look up to take the notes from the board, only to find the teacher standing in the way. I look up at him, cringing visibly as I spy the sadistic smirk creeping upon his features. _'Oh god…'_

-5 minutes later-

The rest of the lesson passes slowly, dragging on and on like a snail caught in a hot summers' day. I scramble up as the lunch bell goes, hastily shoving my stuff into my bag before bolting to my locker, ignoring the platinum-blonde teacher coming down the hallway after me, his voice raised, pale blue eyes ablaze with annoyance. I don't think I've ever shoved my bag into my locker so fast, to be honest. The heavy footsteps and the yelling were all I needed to bolt towards the door to the courtyard, turning the corners swiftly, using my light weight and nimbleness to my advantage. Sprinting around corners, ducking and dodging around people, weaving between the numerous trees that litter the path. I slow to a halt as I dodge around the last corner and into my haven, the shadowy, blood-red corner that I've recently grown so fond of. I lean back against the wall and pant, trying to regain my breath as my mind struggles to process what just happened. 'Nothing even happened... Stupid boy. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Trust you to over-think every little thing. Moron.' I divert my view from the ground and gaze up and out into the courtyard, my eyes lingering on the different people there are to see. The sporty types playing Soccer and Netball, the gamers sitting in the shade with their handhelds and earphones in, a loud curse penetrating the air as one of them gets mauled over by a seemingly-hard boss battle. Even the bookworms who can be seen clustered around a table in the library window are seeming to have a good time. I look out onto the oval, watching the Soccer players for a bit before a movement in a nearby bush catches my attention. I avert my gaze once more, only to find the lone figure of Zexion hidden among the branches and leaves, said boy looking up at the light grey sky as he leans against the wooden edge of the stairs. _'Zexion...' _ I blush as I think the name. I stare at the boy, my eyes widening slightly as I look him over once again. He's covered in bruises. At least, the bits of skin I can see. He's always wearing sleeves and long pants… _'Maybe he's like you.'_ I shake my head and look down at the ground, bringing my knees to my chest as I sigh. _'Nobody would ever be like me… Who am I to think that... ?'_ I reach up my right sleeve and rub the cuts beneath it gently, enjoying the gentle sting of skin on an open wound that it provides. _'Nobody. Nobody would want to be like me. Nobody __could__ be like me, because I am nobody. I don't exist. I'm just a shadow.'_ I get up slowly, thinking twice about my decision before walking slowly over to the hiding boy, his slate hair trembling slightly in the light breeze.

"Zexion... ?" I lower myself down on one knee, looking at him gently, tilting my head inquisitively. "What's wrong... ?" I smile gently, trying to come across as friendly and caring to the younger male before me.

"D-Demyx..." Zexion looks up at me, his eyes wide with fear, hastily trying to cover up his hands and wrists, trying to hide the marks of numerous colours from my sight.

"Is something wrong... ?" I ask gently, tilting my head in the other direction as I wait for a response.

"N-No... N-Nothing's wrong..." He stutters, as though he has to gather the strength to say them from somewhere deep down within himself, within his soul.

"You sure?" I sit next to him, but leave him some space so that I don't accidentally scare him off. The boy to my left nods a little, seeming to freeze on the spot before looking fearfully up at me.

"Hey, it's alright, I'm not here to hurt you..." I try to sound as gentle and caring as possible, but this has no effect on him.

"I... I h-have somewhere to be..." Zexion scrambles to his feet, getting up and walking as fast as he can away, visibly nearly breaking into a run once or twice. I sigh and put my head in my hands, groaning a little. _'What the fuck have I done... ? Bloody hell.' _I slowly climb to my feet before going back to my locker, collecting my books and going home, not thinking twice about the seemingly rebellious action. _'I don't want to do this anymore...'_

* * *

**This chapter has been sitting in my Document Manager for about... A month? I thought I posted it, but maybe not. Anyways, I've already written chapter 4, all I really have to do is re-edit it and post it. I edit my chapters like, twice before I actually post them, plus TheAnonEditer hasn't edited either this chapter or chapter 4 yet. I'll get him to do it eventually. Anyways, it'll be posted soon. c:**

**-Nimu.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts or any of the characters that I will be using throughout this fanfiction, only the situations in which I place them in.**

**Warning: Contains yaoi/lemon (BoyXBoy). Also contains self-harm. Don't like, don't read.**

**A/N: This has got to be my favorite chapter of them all, except for the last one. (Which is still yet to be written.) c:**

* * *

"Why… ?" I groan and roll over, looking over at my alarm clock, said machines' blue lights flashing nonchalantly against my bleak room. 4am. _'Insomnia…'_ I mumble something incoherent to myself as I reach out towards my dresser, grabbing a handful of sleeping pills and quickly downing them with a sip of water, wincing gingerly as the cool liquid runs down my parched throat. It's been close to two months since this all started, things have been getting worse. I know they have been. Worse and worse. What started as a single, shameful mark of pain on my wrist has multiplied to many – 2, 4, 8, 16, 32, 64… And so many, many more. I've lost count. I can't help it. I can't help myself. I've fallen into something horrible – something deep, dark and lonely.

'_I'm dying…'_ I ponder that thought as I clamber numbly down the stairs, my light brown hair a tangled, matted mess around my thin, tired face.

'_What's it like to die? How does it feel… ?'_ I stare at the fridge, my hollow eyes widening slightly as I open it to find that for about the last week, the light has been blown.

'_I never noticed…' _ I gaze at the contents of said cold closet, looking at the contents – chocolate, ice-cream and soda. Healthy food has been non-existent for a while now, I think. I grab a soda and a block of chocolate before climbing back up the stairs, leaving all the doors open as I flop down onto my bed, pondering what made me like this. How I became who – or what – I am.

'_You fat pig…'_ I curse mentally as I look at the food in my hands, setting it on the bed next to me. I shake my head, ripping open the chocolate, breaking a bit off and nibbling on it timidly. I quickly shove the entire piece in my mouth, savouring the flavour as it melts in my mouth. My expression doesn't change at all as I pull a blade from the black box on my bedside table, dragging it across my arm. I watch the crimson blood gather at the wound, forming little beads before running slowly down my thin, pale arm. This goes on for hours upon hours. Doesn't matter about the blood, doesn't matter about the vomit-filled bucket on the floor.

'_It hurts… It hurts so good…' _ I moan a little as I once again feel the vomit rising in the back of my throat, my dry eyes widening as I lean over the bucket, once more emptying the contents of my stomach into the red plastic container. It doesn't have a name, title or any value to me. It's just a bucket. A red bucket. The red bucket. My puke bucket. I gag at the thought, my stomach churning as blood runs from the back of my throat, down into my stomach. I lay back onto my bed, setting aside the wrappers that remain of my feast, a violent shudder engulfing me as I feel the warm liquid continue to run both down my throat and over my body. I close my eyes slightly as my world starts spinning, my mind suddenly clouding over.

'_Oh, thank god…'_ I think hazily as my consciousness starts to fade away, my arms aching where the blood is ebbing from them, my gag reflex activating once again as I choke on my own blood, my body twitching and shaking in response. I somehow find myself on my side, my acidic, metallic blood running from the corner of my mouth, pooling on the sheets beneath me. I smile manically before drifting into the world of the unknown, allowing the nightmares, memories and the unknown to engulf me in an uncomfortable but well-needed slumber.

**-Zexions' POV-**

'_Why am I here… What am I doing… ?'_ I sigh, looking up at the number on the door. Number 9.

'_His favourite number…'_ I press the doorbell, ears twitching a little as I recognise the happy tune. It's the one he normally hums. I shuffle my feet a little, pulling my sleeves further down my arms, a wild but fruitless attempt to hide the abuse that has infected my skin. After five minutes of standing outside Demyxs' door, I'm soaked through to the bone – torrential rain does nothing for a lost soul seeking refuge these days.

"This is ridiculous…" I mutter beneath my breath, reaching into my pocket, gingerly pulling out a pale blue key.

'_Here goes nothing…'_ I hold my breath as the key slides into the lock, letting out a shaky but happy sigh as it clicks. I reach out cautiously as I turn the knob, letting myself in hastily. I shut the door gently behind myself, taking off my rain-soaked jumper and shoes, leaving them at the door in a neat pile. I glance guiltily down at my pale, skinny arms, looking back upwards quickly, a slight tremor shaking me from the temperature of this place.

'_It's freezing…'_ I think to myself as I look around the bottom floor or the house.

"Nothing's changed… At all…" I whisper, mentally noting that everything is exactly as I left it.

'_Has he been eating? Is he healthy? … Is he still alive?'_ I shake my head at the thought, poking myself in the side of the head with frustration as I slowly mount the steps, climbing up them one by one. I avoid all the squeaky spots, quietly searching the upstairs rooms for any sign of life. Nothing. I begin to panic a little, but I calm myself relatively quickly. That is, before I pick up a familiar stench coming from the master bedroom.

'… _Vomit?'_ My eyes widen as I register the smell in my mind before approaching the door, opening it with caution. I am nearly drawn to be sick myself as the stench overwhelms me, infiltrating my unprepared senses with all its might. I step into the room, looking towards the bed. The first thing I notice, is the bucket. I stand, frozen in my spot, mortified.

'_It's the same colour…' _ I stand there for what could be anywhere from a minute to a lifetime before a noise snaps me out of my daze. A groan. My eyes immediately widen to the size of saucers as I turn to look at the source of the noise, my breath hitching in my throat.

"D-Demyx…?" I whisper, teeth clamping down on my tongue hard as I try to take in what I'm seeing. I pad over to him softly, kneeling down next to his bed, my heart racing, head slightly hazy. "D… Demyx…" I coo his name softly, getting a groan fit for a dying animal in response. I clamber onto the sullied bed as I slowly, gently pulling him into a sitting position, leaning his half-dead figure against the wall. I sit back on my haunches and stare at him, his body limp, lifeless, the only thing indicating his life is the faint rise and fall of his chest, as well as the faint moans of pain escaping from his lips. I hang my head and stare at the fabric of his sheets, my hands rising to meet my face, attempting wildly to wipe away my tears as they run freely down my face. 5 minutes later, I finally snap out of it.

'_You need to help him… He needs you.'_ I get up, going over to the light switch, flicking it on gently.

"Oh my god…" I whisper in shock as I look him over now – he looks even worse in the light. Pale, covered in blood and vomit… You can see his bones. What catches my eye, though, is his arms. They're littered with cuts and scars. All different shapes and sizes, but they're all the same depth. Deep. Deep enough to be dangerous. I quickly pick myself up off the bed, scrambling down the stairs, nearly falling over my own feet twice. I grab the bucket from beneath the sink, filling it with water as I grab a sponge and a towel. I run just as fast back up the stairs, setting myself and my collection of items down before the dying boy in front of me as I get to work.

-2 hours later-

I am absolutely soaked. Covered in dirty, bloody water from head to foot. I don't mind, though. My eyes gleam brightly as I hear a more human-sounding groan from the boy before me, his aquamarine eyes flickering open briefly before closing once more.

"Z… Ze… Zexion?" He moans as his eyes flutter open once more, looking gently at me, his eyes reflecting more hurt and sorrow than anyone could ever imagine was possible.

"D-Demyx…" I blush, looking timidly up at the older boy. "A-Are you alright…?" I whisper, trying desperately not to show my enjoyment on my small, frail-looking face. A look of panic flashes over Demyxs' face as he attempts to hide himself beneath the covers, howling in pain as he knocks his arm against the corner of his bed, several wounds re-opening in the process. I sigh, taking his arm as I gingerly start sewing him back up.

"Wh-What are you…?"

"I came to find you…" I mumble, keeping my eyes and mind focused firmly on the task at hand. Neither of us said a word.

'_He saw. I know he did. He's seen the bruises and scars that litter my body, just as much as I've seen his. I wonder what his side of the story is...'_

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**_It's all for now, but Chapter 5 is on its way~ Please feel free to review and/or critique, it makes it so much easier to write when you have peoples' inputs about it. Either or, I'm off.  
_**

**_Laters,  
_**

**_-Nimu.  
_**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts or any of the characters that I will be using throughout this fanfiction, only the situations in which I place them in.**

**Warning: Contains yaoi/lemon (BoyXBoy). Also contains self-harm. Don't like, don't read.**

**A/N: This is a bloody long chapter, nearly 4,000 words at the moment. This chapter was actually meant to be extended, then broken in two, but I couldn't be bothered. This chapter is like... A chapter 5 and 6 put together. The plotline kinda merged a little in my head, and, well, this is the end result. ^^;  
**

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Yet another day, in the same place. The same bleak school, the same bleak, boring people. I sigh a little as I numbly walk down the corridor, the early morning breeze doing nothing but pester me as it blows my ever-growing bangs into my eyes, my vision going fuzzy for a split second before I stop and lean against a wall.

_'Why does this always happen... ?' _I sigh, taking out my water bottle from my bag before taking a rather long, deep swig from it, returning it carefully. I continue down the corridor, my eyes fixated on the plain carpeted floors as I walk nonchalantly throughout the building. I look up when I reach my locker, opening it slowly, careful not to twist my wrists as I do so. My bag is quickly and quietly discarded, my books for the mornings' classes in my hands - Geography and English. With nothing better to do, I slowly walk to the classroom, ensuring that nobody is inside before taking my seat down the back.

"Just another day... Calm down..." You mumble to yourself as you set your books out, settling down to quietly read your crime and investigations novel that you pull from your bag.

"Oho, look who's back already." You bite your tongue as you look up, the smirking face of none other than Roxas looking down at you, Zexion standing quietly in his shadow.

"Leave me alone..." You look up at Roxas as you close your book, biting down on your tongue even harder, inwardly smiling as you begin to taste a metallic fluid mixing with your saliva.

"Now, why would we do that?" He sneers, leaning in close to your face. "Where have you been, water boy?" He smirks, his liquor-smelling breath infiltrating your senses.

"I... I was sick. I had a tummy bug." You lie, not a hint of emotion on your pale, blotchy face.

"Hah. Yeah right." The boy pulls away from you as he hears footsteps from behind him, turning his head slightly to see their English teacher entering the room and putting down his books. "I'll deal with you later." He flashes a menacing grin before slaunting off, Zexion risking a pitying glance at you before he turns and follows Roxas, his mouth tightly shut as he goes.

You clench your left fist, digging your nails into your palm, re-opening smaller cuts across your palm with your unkempt nails. You sigh as you go back to your book, shaking your head slightly, long, chestnut-brown bangs falling into your field of vision. _'Is this really my first day back all week... ? I feel like I've been here forever...'_

"Mr. L'eau." You close your book before looking up hesitantly, looking into the eyes of the tall, irritated-looking man before you. "Where have you been?" He keeps a straight face as he stares into your eyes, icy blue eyes seeming to pierce straight through you and out the other side.

"I-I was sick." You stammer, averting your gaze, chewing on your lower lip discreetly.

"Look at me." He growls, grabbing your chin harshly as he turns you head. "'I was sick' isn't a good enough excuse, Mr. L'eau. Friday night detention with me. Do you understand?"

"Y-Yes, sir..." I mumble, wincing slightly as he forcefully released my chin, my gaze being averted straight to my desk. "S-Sorry, sir."

"Don't you sorry me, you sorry child." He growls, gritting his teeth as he glares at you.

_'What have I done to deserve this... ?' _You think to yourself, the bell crudely intruding your thoughts as people start piling into the room. Naturally, none of them bother to look at you, acknowledge you, say anything to you. _'Nobody loves you, remember that Demyx. Nobody. You're better off dead. Nobody would care if you're gone.' _You sigh as you open your books, just accepting the voices in your head for whom they are and what they have to say. _'I will live with them for now.'_

_'Oh, thank bloody god.' _You bite back a groan as the bell goes, signalling the end of your Geography class. You pick yourself up slowly, packing your things away cautiously before taking your leave. You reach your locker in no time, putting your books away and taking out your water. You stop as you're about to lock your lock when a thought crosses your mind:

_'Maybe I could just leave now. Nobody would notice.'_ You shake your head gently, placing the water back in your locker as you lock it carefully, taking your time to wonder outside. As you walk through the cafeteria, you bite your lip as you hear the sound of people sniggering.

"Heh, hey, guys. Let's play spot the eating disorder." They snicker as I turn my head slightly, trying to catch who it is in my peripheral vision.

_'Roxas...'_

"Oh, wait, I found one!" His mate grins, his long, wavy blue hair swishing about as he points at me. I turn away and hang my head, walking towards the courtyard.

_'Please don't call to me, please don't call to me.' _I pray in my head, hoping to all things living and dying that they really don't call out for me.

"Hey, shithead! We're talking to you!" Roxas snarls as he comes up behind me, grabbing me by my neck as he drags me back to his group, my breathing becoming coughs and splutters.

"Learn how to breathe properly, it's not like you were being strangled or anything." Saïx snickers through a teethy grin, his fang-like teeth looking all the more menacing up close than from a distance. Behind both Saïx and Roxas, you can see Zexion in the shadows, a blue-coloured bruise developing on his cheek. He spies that you've caught his eye, looking down and away as quickly as possible, pain and regret swirling in his blue-grey eyes.

"Wh-What do you want with me... ?" I ask quietly, looking at the boys before me, having to look upwards slightly because of their height.

"Oh, nothing... We just want you to play a game with us. Meet us at the clock tower after school, 3:30pm sharp. If you're late, well..." The blonde snickers. "We'll worry about that when we get to it, won't we, Saïx?" Roxas looks over at his blunette friend, said boy snickering as he eyes me off like a hawk eying off a wild animal.

"Indeed we will."

"O-Okay..." I mumble, turning on my heel and walking away as calmly as possible. As soon as the trio are out of sight, I run for my corner, other people in the yard paying no mind to the skinny brunette running at full-pelt straight past them. As I round the final corner, I can feel the stain of unwanted tears down my cheeks, the speed of their falling all the more increasing as I crawl into the farthest corner, bringing my legs to my chest as I hold them. I just sit there for what feels like forever, holding my knees against me, my battered and bruised emotions flowing from me in the form of tears and regret.

_'You stupid boy, you should have never come back here. I told you that they didn't want you, that they didn't need you. You should have listened to me. You stupid, stupid boy. Go kill yourself already.'_ I remain in my corner, shaking and trembling, for what feels like hours, but is really only 5 or so minutes. I bite down on my tongue hard, digging through my pockets as it bleeds into my mouth. I look down as I bring the box cutter into my lap, extending the blade a little as I look it over. The black casing is hard and beautiful, finger indentations where you should hold it when cutting a box. The blade that once gleamed silver now gleams a tainted copper colour thanks to the blood shed over it. I roll up my right sleeve, looking at my arm carefully. I take the cutter into my left hand, placing it over my scarred, scabbed wrist gently. I fail to hesitate as I press it into the skin of my wrist hard, watching as I pull it across my wrist harshly with a _**rip.**_ I bite my bottom lip as I raise the blade, moving it down no more than 2 centimeters as I repeat my actions once again, relishing in the ripping noise that the blade makes as it slices through my skin, flesh and veins. By the time the bell goes, I have another 5 marks of pitiful hurt, one by one, carefully placed on my porcelain, thin wrist. I examine them carefully, mentally noting that I've nicked the arteries in three of the cuts that I made. I sigh as I retrieve the bandages and gauze from my pocket, gently placing it over the wounds before carefully bandaging up my wrist with only speed and perfection that someone who has done this many times over can ever dream of mastering. The knife and the remaining gauze return to my pocket as I stand up, quickly looking myself over to ensure that I haven't gotten blood on my clothes before returning to my locker.

"You took your time, you ponce." You turn to look towards the direction of the voice, only to be greeted by the smirking figure of Roxas only inches away from your face. "Where have you been? You're late." He snarls, his eyes sparking alight with what can only be described as hatred in its purest form.

"I-I'm sorry. I... I was late out of class. I had t-to talk to the tea-"

"I don't care what you were doing, you're late and that's that!" He grins menacingly before pining you to a wall, his fist going straight into your stomach. You double over as you try to regain your breath, all the wind being knocked out of you. "You probably like that, you sick little child. You like the pain, don't you? Don't you!?" His grin widens as his foot goes into your side, his fists flying at you from various directions. Head, throat, sides, stomach, knees, ankles - you just can't keep up with it anymore. All you can do as he continues this violent attack on you is try your hardest to hold in the various sounds of pain that are relentlessly escaping your lips and pray to god that he lets you go soon.

"You getting all this?" You look up towards your attacker, only to see Saïx standing behind him, video camera in hand. Your eyes widen significantly as you realize what they're doing, only to be punched sharply on the side of the jaw, causing you to yelp in pain as you involuntarily bite down on your tongue, drawing more pain than it should. You cough and splutter as he grabs you by the throat, swinging you around by your neck, banging you repeatedly into wall behind you before throwing you down to the ground and jumping on your back.

"Come on boys, let's go." He smirks as he turns his back to you, motioning for the two to follow him in the opposite direction. Saïx smirks as he kneels in front of you, getting a close up of your face as you glare into the camera before closing it and running after Saïx. Zexion stops and stares at you, keeping his face a neutral expression as he watches you. He turns and walks away silently, dropping a paper from his pocket as he turns just near your mangled, battered hand.

"Zexion, you little bitch! Where are you?!" You hear Roxas scream, coming back to find said slate-haired male walking towards him. "You take too long. Learn to speed up or suffer from it. Do I need to remind you... ?" Roxas snickers as Zexions' eyes widen, the boy shaking his head from side to side in alarm. "I think I might have to..."

"N-No... I know..." He mumbles as he looks up at Roxas, his eyes full of fear and shame.

"No you don't. You little liar. What have I told you about lying before? Saïx!" He calls out, taking Zexion by the throat as he drags him around a corner, The blunette quickly whipping around the corner after them, camera on and filming.

You close your eyes, laying on the cooling cement, focusing on the pain that has already started to ebb away ever so slightly.

"S-Stop! R-Roxas, please, stop it!" You jolt your head upwards, only for a moan of pain to escape from your lips as the severity of your previous injuries comes flying back to you.

"Z... Zexion... ?" You whisper under your breath, visibly wincing at the sounds you can her. BANG. BANG. BANG.

"S-Stop it, please, stop! I'll be good, I-I promise!" You hear a high-pitched, tear-stained voice cry as you close your eyes once more. You clench your eyes shut as you hear a particularly loud CRACK as a fist collides with bone, a cry of pain emitting from Zexion as he falls to the ground.

"Get up, you lazy faggot." You hear Roxas smirk as you hear another loud cracking sound, assumedly being the mans' foot on Zexions' ribs. He howls in pain as he's pulled up, then thrown back against the wall again. "Let's go." You see Roxas and Saïxs' silhouettes snicker as they cross the road in front of you, turning left before disappearing in the distance.

"Z-Zexion..." You mutter, dragging yourself along the ground to a nearby pole, loud pained noises slipping between your lips as you do so. You hastily pull yourself up, screaming out in pain as you bend your back the wrong way. A pained hobble to a wall is all it takes you to be hobbling to the source of noise was, only one thing on your mind. 'Zexion...' You mutter in your thoughts, tuning the corner rapidly, stopping in your tracks.

You can't believe your eyes. Sprawled on the floor before you, covered in blood, mangled bruises, cuts and bones in weird places, is Zexion. The Zexion that you loved - no, love. Dying before you. "Z-Zexion..." Your eyes wide, tears falling from them rapidly. All you can think of is helping this poor boy.

"D... D-Dem... Demyx..." He moans weakly, looking up at you. Just the look in his eyes is enough to make your injuries seem almost insignificant. You hobble over to him, doing your best to ignore the searing pain coming from each and every one of your limbs. You sit, managing to get him sitting upright. "G-Go..." He mutters weakly, looking down as he groans loudly in pain as he pops one of his shoulders and his right knee back into place. "I-I'm fine."

"No you're not..." You clamber to your feet, crying out as you loose balance and strike your wrist on the brick wall beside you. You disregard the tears falling from your eyes as you quickly help the boy beside you to his feet, feeling the sudden need to help get him away from there. "C-Can you walk... ?" You mutter, barley sure if you should be walking yourself. The boy to your right nods a little, slowly balancing himself as he looks up at you.

"Come with me." You mutter, taking him gently by the hand as you both begin your slow, painful stagger to your house together.

"Ugh." You groan loudly as you collapse onto the couch in your lounge room, the younger literally falling into a chair. "Z-Zexion... A-Are you... A-Alright?" You mumble with what energy you have left, turning your head ever so slightly, wincing from the pain.

"Y... Y-Yeah..." He mutters, his voice weak and quiet.

"S-Sleep. We'll worry t-tomorrow..." You mumble, the only thing you remember being the slamming of your head against the couch as you fall into a blissful unconsciousness.

"A-Aaaah... Oooow.." You groan at yourself as you slowly remove your clothing, discarding it into a pile in the corner. You set yourself down sideways on the bathroom floor, the cupboard full of medical equipment to your left. You set yourself to work as you pull out everything you need - a bucket, soap, disinfectant spray, band-aids, bandages, gauze - you name it, it's there. You quickly set about treating and wrapping up your wounds, bruises and broken bones, praying to all hell that they'll heal properly. Once you're all fixed up, it hurts just a little less to move. You can barley see your arms, legs and sides, but it doesn't matter. You get up before putting everything onto a little wheelie cart, including a bucket of soapy water and a sponge. You slowly but carefully wheel the cart out of the bathroom and into the loungeroom, setting it beside the couch that Zexion was asleep on before shaking him gently.

"Zexion..."

"M-Mmmn..." He moans in pain, his visible eye opening a little. "D... De... ?"

"I-It's just me. Sit up, I'll fix you up." You look him over gently, assessing his wounds. He cooperates and sits upright, despite the fact that it takes some time due to the fact that he was coated in a thin layer of blood and sweat.

An hour later, you've just about finished cleaning him up - all you have to fix are his thighs and his ribs.

"H-Hey, Zexion... ?" You look at him, the younger now rinsing out his mouth with water and mouthwash.

"Mmn?"

"Y-You're gonna have to take off your pants so I can clean your legs..." You mutter nervously, trying not to blush too much. He takes them off carefully, trying not to re-open any of the wounds in the process. When he does, you gasp aloud.

"Wha... ?" You look over at Zexion, the boy looking away. His legs are cross-crossed in scars, bruises and gashes, some looking deliberate, some not so deliberate. "Z-Zexion..." You hug him gently, the boy shifting a little under the awkwardness of the hug.

"J-Just do it..." He mumbles, reminding you that you actually have a job to do. You quickly set about washing the dried blood from him, two wounds in particular just looking worse and worse the cleaner they get.

"T-They're d-deep..." You stammer as you look at the two lengthy, dangerous-looking lacerations across his lower thigh. You look at them for a moment, noting to yourself that you could see the muscle tissue through the cut. You waste no time in grabbing out numbing cream and putting it on his leg before stitching him up carefully, putting a powerful antiseptic on his wounds before bandaging them up. 'Cream on the bruises, antiseptic on the wounds, bandages on the deeper wounds.' You stand back once you're done and admire your work. The boy before you looks up at you, his face and eyes emotionless as he watches you look over him. You quickly throw him a fresh set of shorts and a t-shirt as you turn to put away the remaining resources, looking the boy over one last time.

"Y-You know, Z-Zexion... I... I'm always here... I-If you need me. M-My door is always open..." You smile slightly at the boy as you return the supplies to the next room over, coming back quickly and quietly, ignoring the searing pain in your legs and sides.

"I... I like that idea." The boy stammers, looking up at you, a tiny, almost microscopic glint of hope deep, deep in the depths of his blue-grey eyes. You smile, quickly erasing it when you remember not to show these things to people.

"R-Really?"  
"Y... Yeah, I think so..."

The joy you feel is overwhelming at that point, you go over to the boy and hug him, trying to hastily blink back the tears welling in the corner of your eyes. You quickly hand the boy some panadol and a glass of water before tackling the stairs for the first time since you'd been home, a big, bright, teethy smile crossing your features as you finally let your true emotions show.

* * *

**I think I finished editing this chapter. I'm not too sure, actually. I don't remember. Nevertheless, this chapter was chucked together yesterday. I started writing it about 1pm, finished at about 1:30-2pm ish. It was one of those spur of the moment things. I'll go back through and re-edit it again later, but 'till then, I hope it was good. c:**

**Reviews are always loved, regardless of if it's compliments or ccriticism. ^^  
**

**Laters,  
**

**Nimu-Chan.  
**


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